rainbowbrite1Oh boy. When the Queen (i.e. wife) of my overlord Joe Patrick commanded requested an article on Rainbow Brite, I complied. Mostly out of fear. I say mostly because I knew when I undertook this mission to chronicle the many cartoons of the Saturday morning landscape, this day would be inevitable. I would need to write about something completely out of my wheelhouse. I have never seen an episode of Rainbow Brite. Google, don’t fail me now.

Rainbow Brite has always been a property that nearly everyone has heard of, like Care Bears, but can’t really tell you much about it. Also like Care Bears. I was expecting Brite to be some sort of dynasty like Jem or My Little Pony (the original, not the current bronies version). Instead I found there was only 13 episodes. I suppose that’s a testament to the staying power of the characters, or that fact that humans tend to remember shiny, colorful things.

rainbowbrite2A girl named Wisp is transported to the Colorless World where she is tasked with saving the Color Kids. Who are all white, except the indigo one (who’s also named Indigo), she’s black. Because, you know, racism. Eventually she saves them all and is given the Rainbow Belt and becomes their god, Rainbow Brite. She accomplishes this with her rainbow tailed horse Starlite and odd furry weevil like assistant, Twink. All the characters have somewhat inspired/racist names, like Patty O’Green or Moonglow. There’s one guy named Brain. Just Brian.

rainbowbrite3Brite also had a several live action episodes, which were horror inducing, and a movie. I wondered why the character had such a strong staying power after nearly three decades. Turns out the property was created by Hallmark, which completely makes sense why it lasted so long, I guess. Proof that anyone with a good idea in the 80’s/90’s could have jumped in the cartoon/toy market.

Anyone who regularly reads my work (please let me know who you are so we can be friends) knows I hold voice actors in high regard. While I haven’t heard of most of the ones who worked here, I thought it worth noting that Optimus Prime himself Peter Cullen played the main villain Murky Dismal. Oh, and perpetual 15-year-old sounding man Scott Menville (Robin on Teen Titans) was Brian. Yes, the same Brian.

rainbowbrite4Not one to waste any resources, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of Rainbow Brite. “I loved it! I don’t remember anything about it though. No, wait, she had a horse I think. And really cute boots. I wanted her boots.” And there you have it.

What Color Kid did you want to be? Yellow Takashi? Maroon Navajo? Ideas for topics? Because so help me, I’ll do it. Let me know in the comments.

So, sexy Rainbow Brite is a Halloween costume. 

This is the fourth article Tony’s written today. He is rewarding himself with a nap. In the meantime, head over to thecredhulk.com to see what he’s been working on. Give him a Facebook like or follow him on Twitter.