Thursday night, I came home from the gym excited to sit with my pugs, eat a salad, and watch the season premiere of Glee. Of course things did not go as planned.

First, my lovely, dear friend Eric called me requesting my presence at dinner. Of course, I couldn’t turn down such an offer. So off in his new fancy Jeep we went to Rivera’s (the best Mexican restaurant in Omaha. FACT!). After dinner, I came home, changed into my pajamas, grabbed the pugs, and settled in to watch Glee on the DVR, which was even more exciting now that I could skip the commercials. Whomever invented the DVR – my imaginary hat tips to you!

For those of you unfamiliar with Glee – shame on you – (though if you are unfamiliar it is probably because you are not female or a gay male). It’s a show on Fox about a high school Glee club staring Lea Michele, Jane Lynch and Chris Colfer, to name a few. It’s like watching a mini-musical each week complete with ridiculous high school “drama,” so in other words I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT DAMMIT!

Anyway, I turned on the TV, hit the DVR list, and began to search for it. I searched for probably five minutes, up and down the list. No Glee? I noticed that the DVR was recording something, my first thought was “well, this is weird, maybe it wasn’t the season premiere…” My second thought was, “Oh HELL NO – did my husband have some of his shows recording at the same time and they cancelled out Glee? OH HELL TO THE NO.”

After another 20 minutes of trying to figure out how to view the shows we have set to record (at this point in my search I was taking back my tip of the imaginary hat), I finally found the list. And what a list it was. I slowly started scrolling through, six shows deep and still no Glee, eight shows deep, where is Glee?! Finally 12 down there it was. I shot that bad boy to number one on the list of shows to record.

I was still curious though, and jumped back into the list of shows that were/are recorded for us to watch. Glee had to have been bumped, I still wasn’t sure how it did not record. I saw that Louie and Wilfred were being recorded during my search, which I was fine with. But then, the list got a little ridiculous. I noticed there was Thundercats, The Amazing World of Gumball, Adventure Time, How the Universe Works, Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman, Young Justice: Invasion and Ultimate Spider-Man. Did Glee not record because of a Thundercat?! If that was the case, I would be furious, and no amount of margaritas in the world would ease this pain.

In case you didn’t know what these shows were, I have put my descriptions of them here for you:

Thundercats: OH! Fun fact: one of the Thundercats is voiced by the older brother from 90’s hit show Boy Meets World. That’s really all I care about regarding the Thundercats. Also, apparently it is about a dude-cat (half man/half cat) that is leading some sort of revenge or revolution against the evil man that destroyed his old planet. There is also something called “third earth,” yeah, no clue what that means.

The Amazing World of Gumball: This one is about a cat (Gumball) and his adventures with his brother – who used to be his pet goldfish (the f$%k?!), dad and friends. Each episode involves Gumball trying some sort of crazy scheme, which obviously fails, and then a lesson should be learned. Usually though, it is not. One time there was an episode where his dad got really fat. That is all I remember. I need to be high to watch this show.

Adventure Time: Truth be told, I actually kind of dig this show. Last season was pretty adorable. It’s about Finn and Jake (a young boy and his magical pug) who are living in a post-apocalyptic world. There are candy princesses, Japanese-rainbow unicorns and an evil Ice King. This show has gotten way more psychedelic over this past season. Again, highly recommend you smoke a lot of trees (it’s good for the economy – Chiddy Bang y’all) before viewing.

How the Universe Works: If you can’t figure what this show is about from the title, then you are an idiot. Anyway, I hate space – it terrifies me and I blame Cillian Murphy and Chris Evans and their little indie movie Sunshine for that. Well played Scarecrow and Captain America, well played. So, in short, since I am terrified of space and all things, not even the semi-cute British scientist narrator can make me watch. My husband just informed me that Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs hosts this show and not Brian Cox, the cute British Scientist that hosts Wonders of the Universe. Yeah, I still won’t watch this.

Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman: This is like Mythbusters for Atheists. Take that as you will. I am not super keen on this show either. Although, on the show’s webpage they have a nine minute video called “Can we resurrect the dead?” Zombies. Awesome. Still, not going to watch even with Morgan Freeman cooing at me “Can we eliminate evil? What is nothing? Is there a superior race? These questions have been pondered by the most brilliant minds in history. Now, modern science may be able to provide us with answers.” No thanks, Lucius Fox.

Young Justice: Invasion: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS SHOW IS. To Google I go…huh, so it is teenage superheroes. Do teenage superheroes have the same problems are normal teens? You know acne, not winning the football game, asking the hot girl in class to the prom and hating their parents? I feel I would be heavy into this show if it was like 90210 with superheroes. Man, that show needs to happen – million dollar idea right there.

Ultimate Spider-Man: Spider-Man once again is still figuring out how to be Spider-Man (I feel like Peter Parker has been trying to figure his shit out since 1962, damn). Nick Fury from S.H.I.E.L.D (if you saw The Avengers or any other Marvel comic movie you know who this man is) pops up in this show and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….oh I am sorry, I feel asleep from boring myself with talking about SPIDER-MAN REPEATING HIS STORY FOR THE 11,339,432,435,234th TIME only this time it’s written for children with A.D.D.

In conclusion, I still have not seen Glee. That really is all. I am still bummed, and even more bummed that if I want to watch something on my DVR to ease the pain, there is NOTHING. But, in the wise words of Evita (this is so very Glee of me by the way), “Don’t cry for me ArgentinaGlee comes back next week, plus there is also HULU and margaritas, there will always be margaritas.

Kacie Baum is a professional partier, mother of two pugs, and the wife of Matt Baum. She tolerates the constant presence of the Two-Headed Nerd in her home each week. She did not write this bio. Past entries of Girl Meets Nerd can be found here.