Ludicrous Speed Reviews 6/11/25 – 6/18/25 | Batman: Dark Patterns, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Ultimate Black Panther, Wonder Woman & MORE!
A Double-Dose of Heckatron!
This week, Mike shares his thoughts on the latest issues of Batman: Dark Patterns, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Ultimate Black Panther, Wonder Woman and more, plus a special backlog review of Tom King and Greg Smallwood’s Human Target! Prepare yourselves, ladies and gentlemen, because Heckatron is a loose cannon that plays by his own rules and, more importantly, his own rating system. LUDICROUS SPEED… GO!!!!!
Be sure to check out our other written reviews for more!
Welcome back to Ludicrous Speed reviews, kids. Your Uncle Heckatron had to miss last week thanks to a mix of a hectic work schedule and ADHD hyperfocus on said work, so you’re getting a giant-sized catch-up edition to make up for it. Let’s get into some reviews, shall we?
COMICS FROM THE WEEK OF 6/11/25!
*HECKATRON’S PICK OF THE WEEK!*
Batman: Dark Patterns #7
DC Comics
Written By: Dan Watters
Art By: Hayden Sherman and Triona Farrell
Solicit: When a dead body is found burned to a crisp in the heart of one of Gotham’s oldest neighborhoods, the Rookery, the Dark Knight Detective finds himself enmeshed in a twisting murder mystery dating back to the early days of the Red Hood Gang.
Review: You know when you spend a long time driving to some other state and you spend days eating the worst food that makes you feel like garbage and then you get to your destination and go to a super nice restaurant and it feels like a true culinary experience compared to the awful garbage you ate on the way? That’s what picking up Batman: Dark Patterns is like every month. Like my guy Gordon says, finally some good fuckin’ food.
Rating: 9 RED HOODS OUT OF 10
Absolute Batman #9
DC Comics
Written By: Scott Snyder
Art By: Nick Dragotta and Frank Martin
Solicit: AN ALL NEW ARK (M) STARTS HERE! The latest development in saving the derelict and despondent of our society is a facility known as Ark M — a fully operational institution that has played a rather sizable part, on purpose or not, in the creation of evil. And it’s active. So when Bruce tries to infiltrate it and distill its secrets, a new villain from Gotham City arrives to deal with the problem… an old adversary of Alfred’s… a man known only as Bane.
Review: I’ve been saying that Absolute Batman is a body horror epic and I feel completely vindicated after this issue.
Rating: 9 OUT OF 10
Batman #160
DC Comics
Written By: Jeph Loeb
Art By: Jim Lee
Solicit: H2SH WITH JEPH LOEB AND JIM LEE PART 3! The gentleman’s name is Silence, and his alliance with Hush will destroy Batman!
Review: This is the metaphorical garbage food I was talking about earlier.
Rating: 2 OUT OF 10
Cover by Dike Ruan
Death of the Silver Surfer #1
Marvel Comics
Written By: Greg Pak
Art By: Sumit Kumar and Frank D’Armata
Solicit: SILVER SURFER’S FINAL VOYAGE?! The Silver Surfer returns to defend a war-ravaged Earth, but Norrin has a galaxy-sized target on his back. A new enemy will stop at nothing to steal away everything the Surfer is or ever will be. A single human life may be all that decides the Surfer’s salvation… or damnation. If the Surfer falls, who then wields the awesome Power Cosmic? And what of the Surfer’s old master, Galactus, Devourer of Worlds?!
Review: Is this a marketing ploy to get a Silver Surfer book on the shelf ahead of Fantastic Four: First Steps? Most likely. But should you skip it? No. This book is kinda Radd.
Rating: 8 OUT OF 10
Something Is Killing the Children #42
BOOM Studios
Written By: James Tynion IV
Art By: Werther Dell’Edera and Miquel Muerto
Solicit: More secrets from Erica Slaughter’s past are uncovered in a new mission from her early days as a hunter. As Erica works alongside Jessica to earn her teeth, Jessica’s own hidden history may change her perception of the House forever…
Review: James Tynion IV kicks off a new arc with the same story he almost always writes and goddamnit it’s still good. I would love to see more current day stories, especially now that Maxine Slaughter from the Book of… spin-offs is now in the game, but this arc promises to fill in the gaps of Erika’s past for us. Let’s kill some monsters!
Rating: 8 OUT OF 10
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #9
IDW
Written By: Jason Aaron
Art By: Juan Ferreyra
Solicit: Already weakened, weary, and a little deranged, poor Donatello has now been captured by the Foot Clan! The remaining Turtle boys make a plan for an all-out war against Karai, but are forced to think twice when they hear the voice of reason… coming from the body of a dead rat?
Review: This book feels like Jason Aaron is doing a magic trick and I haven’t felt like the Turtles have been so well represented since the first TMNT film. That splash page with Michelangelo storming the building is easily the page of the week, if I was giving out awards.
Rating: 9 OUT OF 10
Ultimate Black Panther #17
Marvel Comics
Written By: Bryan Hill
Art By: Stefano Caselli and David Curiel
Solicit: Killmonger vs. the Vodu-Khan! Black Panther has deputized Erik Killmonger in his absence! But T’Challa’s mysterious advisors, the Vodu-Khan, do not trust this interloper! Plus, Queen Okoye reveals truths behind her marriage and her mission…
Review: Like Ultimate X-Men, I’m wondering what this has to do with the greater Ultimate universe narrative. But you know what? This book is a consistently solid 7 out of 10 book, and I don’t mean that as an insult. It’s not mind-bending, it’s not leaning on style or gimmicks, it’s just doin’ its thing pretty well, but not so good it’s constantly topping itself. It’s never the first book I pick up, but I’m never mad reading it. I respect things that are consistently and unabashedly alright.
Rating: 7 OUT OF 10
COMICS FROM THE WEEK OF 6/18/25!
*HECKATRON’S PICK OF THE WEEK!*
Batman and Robin: Year One #8
DC Comics
Written By: Mark Waid
Art By: Chris Samnee and Mat Lopes
Solicit: Clayface makes a house call to Wayne Manor! The General’s search for Batman and Robin’s true identities comes to Wayne Manor’s doorsteps! Can the dynamic duo find a way to repel the General’s forces and still keep their identities secret?!
Review: Oh hey, here’s the second-best Batman book on the stands.
Rating: 8 SHAPE-SHIFTING IMPOSTERS OUT OF 10
Moon Knight: Fist of Khonshu #9
Marvel Comics
Written By: Jed Mackay
Art By: Dev Pramanik and Rachelle Rosenberg
Solicit: Moon Knight’s new Asgardian adversary, Achilles Fairchild, finally squares off against the entire Midnight Mission — or what’s left of them! He’s already got blood from the crew on his hands — and he means to finish the job! This issue paves the way for next month’s landmark Moon Knight #250!
Review: Not as fun as the last issue, but we get to see Mark’s final move before taking on Fairchild and his magic-crack distribution business. Mackay plays with some of Moon Knight’s trademark psychosis, and this issue gives us something we’ve never seen from the man in white: a mystical, spooky after-school special. I won’t be explaining any further.
Rating: 7 OUT OF 10
New Gods #7
DC Comics
Written By: Ram V
Art By: Evan Cagle, Travis Moore, and Fracesco Segala
Solicit: WORLDS COLLIDE! New Genesis has fallen, and the New Gods have found themselves without a home. Their fates have sent them to Earth, a planet with its own inhabitants, protectors, and immortals. Will these Gods without a world be welcomed to Earth as refugees or rejected as invaders?
Review: The weakest issue of the series yet, and only serves to set up the Fourth World cast as refugees on Earth, with a lot of Justice League cameos. Not much to see here, but I ain’t mad at it.
Rating: 6 OUT OF 10
The Ultimates #13
Marvel Comics
Written By: Deniz Camp
Art By: Jan Frigeri and Federico Blee
Solicit: The second year of the Ultimates starts here! Time is of the essence! And no one knows that better than Iron Lad… With the Maker set to be released in six months, it’s time to kick off new, more daring actions! Enter: Ultimates 3.0!
Review: Look out, The Maker! The Ultimates become anti-fascist TikTok influencers! The world will never be the same! This issue gained a few points for the extremely weird reveal at the end, and that has me eagerly interested in what Tony and (probably) Doom-Reed have cooking.
Rating: 7 OUT OF 10
Wonder Woman #22
DC Comics
Written By: Tom King
Art By: Caitlin Yarsky and Alex Guimaraes
Solicit: The Mouse Man cometh! As the stage is set for our next tale, Diana tells their daughter the story of one of their greatest adventures together. The maniacal Mouse Man debuts looking to prove himself against the Amazon Princess and severely underestimates how powerful she and her allies truly are. Could his humiliating defeat have repercussions for Diana in the future?
Review: If you’ve got a mommy-dom praise kink, boy is Tom King writing the book for you! King’s extended Sovereign arc was somewhat controversial, but we’re off to the races with a new (old) story! I love that we’re going to see less crutching on Sovereign’s flowery misogynist ramblings and into a more straightforward, and in this issue sweet and silly, narrative. It’s not gonna win back the King haters. For me, however, this was wonderfully fun.
Rating: 7 OUT OF 10
*HECKATRON’S BACKLOG PICK OF THE WEEK!*
Human Target
DC Comics/Black Label
Written By: Tom King
Art By: Greg Smallwood
Solicit: Christopher Chance has made a living out of being a human target—a man hired to disguise himself as his client to invite would-be assassins to attempt his murder. He’s had a remarkable career until his latest case protecting Lex Luthor when things go sideways. An assassination attempt Chance didn’t see coming leaves him vulnerable and left trying to solve his own murder…as he has 12 days to discover just who in the DCU hated Luthor enough to want him dead. The DC Universe meets gritty detective noir in this DC BLACK LABEL series by two of comics most celebrated talents.
Review: I didn’t expect to spend so much time with the Justice League International, but more than that, I didn’t expect to fall in love with the Justice League International. Tom King really Tom King-ed all over this exceptionally-stylized murder mystery. Which is a statement that, I suppose, has a very different connotation if you aren’t in the tank for some good ol’ Tom King-ery like I am. Smallwood’s art is stunning here, however, and is easily worth the price of admission.
Rating: 9 ICY FEMME FATALES OUT OF 10
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