Keith UrbanSunday night my husband had a mini freak-out: You guys, HE FORGOT TO DVR THE SECOND EPISODE OF THE NEW SHOW ALMOST HUMAN! AHAHAHAHAHAAH! Anyhow, once he realized, you know, the Internet exists and he could find it there (legally or illegally is still up for debate), he finally simmered down now.

< ![CDATA[ The freak-out did result in him deciding we needed to watch the first episode of the show he recorded on Sunday night. Not only did he come home from work hella early on Monday night, but also he made me watch football (which, let's not lie, I love - first place in fantasy football, ya'll). However. It's Monday, and that means Dancing with the Stars, OBVIOUSLY! Maks returned to judge last night; this is a big deal as you know he is the show.]]>

Since I was feeling bad for beating my husband yet again in our second meet up in our fantasy football league, I decided I would be nice and watch this show. When at first I kind of protested (my protest might have been more of a whine, if we are being technical here), my husband instantly shot back, “You like the main guy in this babe, Keith Urban.”

Me: “I’m sorry, who is in this show? Keith Urban?”

My husband: “Yes, Keith Urban?”

Me: “Really? Keith @#$%ing Urban is in this show? No. That is incorrect.”

My husband: “It’s not Keith Urban? Then what’s his name?”

To recap, my husband thinks we need to desperately watch a show that he thinks Mrs. Nicole Kidman/American Idol judge/Australia’s biggest country star Keith Urban stars in. REALLY?!

We get in bed to watch this, and I instantly notice my husband brings a glass of wine in, TO BED. Spoiler alert: he spilled the wine, like I said he would on our sweet (product-placement alert aka SEND ME FREE SHIT) Pottery Barn quilt. Already I’m not in the mood for this shit, then the wine incident … this show better kick dick to make up for this nonsense.

Below were my random notes/thoughts from the episode (DON’T BE A DUMBASS AND READ IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED THE SHOW).

-Not even five minutes in and dude (Keith Urban – Karl Urban in real life, but we’re gonna call him Keith) is missing a leg. Shit got blown off, and they show it. GROSS.

-I’m confused. He was asleep for two years? Oh, my husband pointed out he was in a coma. That makes so much more sense. The future really likes to keep people asleep for a long-ass time.

-Has Keith Urban ever acted before? This is some Once Upon A Time acting skills up in this joint.

-Keith Urban has a sweet new bionic leg! He’s a robot now. Sorry, my husband has corrected me: Apparently he’s a cyborg, not a robot, duh.

-Cyborg Keith is being called back to the force. It’s time, says his boss, Mystic Pizza.

-Who would have thought Lili Taylor would age so well? Just me? I’m the only one that thought she wouldn’t age well? Cool.

-Oh my god. I can never live in the future. Soooooo much technology! My husband informs me I will prevail, as the more technology comes our way, the easier they will make it for me and the world to use. I’m not convinced.

-In this future, Minka Kelly aka Lyla Garrity (Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose SON!) is still a mega babe.

-Fun Minka Kelly fact: She’s the daughter of the guitarist of Aerosmith. Not Joe Perry, the other one … No, the other-other one.

-Every police officer in the future must be assigned to a M6 or M16 robot police. But not Keith Urban! Ain’t nobody got time for that.

-Instead he gets placed with the most beautiful, emotionally crazy reject robot, a DRN model. There are only so many – four to be exact – of these dudes left. He has feelings, you guys. That makes him different and special. I feel like this is a video they show you in fourth grade.

-Keith Urban’s detective is named John, this new sensi-bot is named Dorian. OH MY GOD! John Dorian, JD, SCRUBS 4EVA.

-I wish I were watching Turner and Hooch. Classic Hanks.

– Keith and sensi-bot are not getting along. It’s all Keith’s fault fo’ sho’. I bet in 15 minutes they will learn to love each other.

-So this gang is trying to break into the police station to steal evidence from an old-ass case, which of course, the case file has been deleted from the records. Escandalo.

-Keith and Sensi-bot have figured this plot out and call to warn Mystic Pizza and Lyla. Too late! All the police bots are shut down! Now normal peeps have to step up and police this shit.

-Now a shoot out on the roof, yada yada yada

-The quirky scientist comes and recharges all the robot police and everyone is happy. The day has been saved.

-Now they are the two best friends that ever lived.

-That is episode uno.

Meh, I feel this will probably be a show I put on when Dancing with the Stars ends to fill the time until Castle begins. I know, I have the TV viewing habits of a 12-year-old girl and a 66-year-old grandma. Deal with it.

Kacie Baum is a professional partier, mother of two pugs, and the wife of Matt Baum. She tolerates the constant presence of the Two-Headed Nerd in her home each week. She did not write this bio. Pre-THN entries of Girl Meets Nerd can be found here.