Pokemon TitlePokémon. The property is a dynasty. While I was entirely too old when the show started airing, I still caught a few of the earlier episodes thanks to my younger siblings. Being a Nintendo product (yes I know it’s technically its own thing), sequels will endless run license into the ground, maybe. There’ll always be more kids, right? Case in point, the anime/Saturday morning cartoon, it’s still on the air. For over 15 years they’ve been creating new episodes. Pokémon will never die. 

Pokémon, starting in 1998 (1997 in Japan), tells the story of Ash Ketchum, a 10 year-old boy who is able to whatever the hell he wants because his mother is apathetic. He sets off to travel the world with two goals, ensalving catching all the Pokémon and be crowned grand tournament world regional captain winner. As over 860 episodes, 17 movies, and something like 30 specials have shown, Ash sucks. But more on that in a minute. First the numbers

PokemonThe stats above are correct, there’s been over 860 episodes of Pokémon (at the time of this writing). Before you check, no, it’s not the longest running anime. That honor belongs to Sazae-san, with more than 7000 episodes (not a typo). Technically, Pokémon isn’t one continuous series. As more games released, series ended, returning with new subtitles, continuing the adventure. There’s the original, Advanced Generation, Diamond & Pearl, Best Wishes!, and XY. Stateside the name’s remained the same, breaking each series into seasons. Along with the series, every July since it launched there’s been a movie. Every, freaking, year. That’s just insane.

Pokemon 1Now back to Ash sucking. Each chapter, of which there are many, ends with Ash attending a Pokémon League Championship. Maybe everyone of them. Most of them at least. Whatever. Despite my laziness to verify that, I can tell you with 100% certainty that Ash has never made it to the finals? Why? Well, that would end the series if he won. Also, he’s 10. Since 1998, like Bart Simpson, he’s been stuck in the perpetual hell of adolescence. Being 10 means he inherently sucks. Of the 649 Pokémon in the world (I know, you’d think there’d be more), Ash has only captured about 70. Further evidence that he sucks. Or is only 10. Whatever.

Pokemon - Cyber Soldier PorygonOver the years there’s been a few episodes that have never made it to air, or pulled from syndication completely. First there’s the infamous “Cyber Soldier Porygon” episode from early in the series run. Pikachu blew up some missiles that, upon exploded, flashed red and blue rapidly on the screen. This triggered a somewhat common red/blue seizure in about 750 Japanese kids simultaneously. You can watch the clip here. IF YOU ARE PRONE TO SEIZURES DO NOT WATCH! Or do. It’s your life. Then there was a few episodes set to air featuring some natural disaster right as an earthquake occurred in real life. Finally, there’s an episode pulled from the English release, “Beauty and the Beach,” where the womens enter a bikini contest, included James of Team Rocket, who had a giant inflatable rack, that continues to grow.

Pokémon is a dynasty. It will consume the world. Ash will not rest until he catches ’em all, and wins, or turns 11 and discovers girls. Also, how the hell can Brock see with his eyes constantly closed?

How many have you caught? Don’t lie. Surprised this is still going? Comment below!

In addition to THN’s Saturday Morning Cartoons and Nerd at the Movies, Tony writes for his own site, thecredhulk.com, about comics, video games, movies, TV and more, six days a week. You can follow his updates on Facebook or Twitter. Drop by and tell ‘em hi.