My husband is threatening to kick me off his Spotify.

He claims it started with a certain Owl City incident a week ago, but really he has been pushing for this all summer.

Spotify is an online music streaming service that, for $10 a month, you can have unlimited access and listen commercial free. There is a $5 a month package as well for those of you that refuse to pay $10, I have no idea what that offers you, I guess I could Google it, but I challenge you to do so. Finally, there is a free trial version that still provides the same as the pay options, but you have to suffer through a few commercials, at least they are promoting the company (I have heard they are hiring) and new music for you to listen to.

My husband has the $10 a month package. When he first purchased it he came to me and said, oh so lovingly, “My dear precious beautiful wife, why don’t you use my Spotify account? We can link it to your IPOD (I had not yet joined the world in having an Iphone, I hate conforming to technology advances) and when you are training for your races, you can just use that. You can even create yourself a running playlist.”

Finally, after weeks of him bugging me to use his account, I gave in. Now, for the record, my husband knows what type of music I like to listen to. I have two qualifications: 1. Does it make me dance? 2. When I am drunk, do I want to sing to it very loudly?  Obviously super high standards, non?

Over the course of many months I have compiled my list, one that has seen me through a few 5K’s, a 10k, a half marathon, random outside afternoon and morning runs, and numerous walks with the pugs. I need energy for all these activities and the playlist I have put together may not be critically acclaimed, but dammit, it makes me want to run, dance, and sing dammit.

Now back to the “Owl City Incident.” My husband has Spotify set up so that every time he or I use his account it notifies Facebook of what was just played. Well since the account is under his name, it appears to the Facebook world that my husband is into some schizophrenic shit. Again, I am the first to admit I listen to some serious crap.

So a few weeks ago I was out on a run and I get a text message around mile three that states “Babes! We need to talk about you getting your own Spotify.” I brushed it off and pretended I had no idea what he was talking about.

A few days after that we are out to dinner (most likely at Pitch Pizzeria, it’s what we do every Tuesday night)  he brings up the subject of my own account again. I am a little boozed up by now and flirt my way out of it (haha, flirt, me, funny stuff, anyway….).

Finally, last week he was home when I was out for my run. When I return, there was no “how was your run?” It was a furor of “OWL CITY!!!!?? REALLY?!! OWL CITY WITH CARLY RAE JESPIN OR WHATEVER THE HELL HER NAME IS!?! THAT’S IT! YOU’RE GETTING YOUR OWN SPOTIFY!”

After months of Nicki Minaj, Carly Rae Jepsen, Asia (seriously, don’t judge, “Heat of the Moment” is a brilliant song);  J Cole, Chiddy Bang, Santigold, One Direction (judge away), The Wanted, and Wiz Khalifa showing up on his Facebook feed, the straw that broke the camel’s back was when Owl City and Carly Rae Jepsen’s song, “Good Time” was shown to all of his 588 facebook friends.  And that was that.  The end of my free ride.

Now, my solution is simple. I tell him he just needs to turn off the notifications so he is not announcing to the Internet what he is listening to. Simple solution, right? Oh, but no.  Apparently he needs the music to feed so that his Two-Headed Nerd fans can see what he listens to while he composes the perfect (debatable) nerd playlist for each week’s podcast.

Currently I am writing this from an US Airways flight on my way to Flagstaff for a work trip, and when I return on Sunday there is a 96.4% chance that his Spotify account will have a new password (flash forward and I have returned and it does not, booyah!).

To try and stay in the Spotify good graces, I have agreed to listen to four songs on my husbands starred list (you star songs you enjoy and that makes up your playlist) and let him and all you Two-Headed Nerd loyalists hear my thoughts on them. Apparently every time I play my playlist with my songs, it is affecting his playlist or songs that Spotify is recommending for him (he mentioned an algorithm or something and I immediately stopped listening). I personally don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to hear the new Justin Bieber suggested over the latest in Viking Metal, but whateva.

So, since I am so loving, and not wanting to shell out ten bucks a month (why you ask? Well besides being technology stunted, I am also lazy and creating my own account would take way too much time), I’m going to let my husband choose four of his favorite Spotify discoveries for me to review on my next blog. So this is my first “to be continued…” Oh the suspense!

Kacie Baum is a professional partier, mother of two pugs, and the wife of Matt Baum. She tolerates the constant presence of the Two-Headed Nerd in her home each week. She did not write this bio. Pre-THN entries of Girl Meets Nerd can be found here.